


somebody else

by milfbyers



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25980928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milfbyers/pseuds/milfbyers
Summary: murray thought he would always know everything about joyce. that's how their friendship worked. but joyce's confession has him seeing her in a different light. one that's a little more dim where he can barely see the guilt in her eyes when she looks at him.
Relationships: Jim Hopper/Murray Bauman, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Joyce Byers/Karen Wheeler
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	somebody else

**Author's Note:**

> in this fanon, joyce and karen dated in high school. murray and hopper had a brief 'relationship' at the same time but it fell apart quickly. in true homosexual fashion, murray fell in love and never really fell out of it. but the two men never were on good terms again after that.

joyce stirred the sauce clockwise while she focused on the recipe next to the stove. dinner was supposed to be ready an hour ago but she messed up the first batch of sauce and the noodles were too hard. an hour and a half and one trip to the grocery store later, she was attempting it again. murray sat at her kitchen table. he was relaxed, his ankles crossed as he lit the cigarette between his lips. ‘how’s old jim lately, joycie?’ his voice was light and playful but the tension that built in joyce’s frame when the name ‘jim’ slipped past his lips didn’t go unnoticed.

‘what’s wrong?’ murray sat up straighter and uncrossed his ankles. ‘what? oh, nothing, murray. hop is fine, always is.’ the subject was dropped. joyce was closed off again. but she was never like this, not with murray. yet, here they are sitting in an uncomfortable silence that had never taken residency in their friendship before. murray took a drag from his cigarette as he took in joyce’s stance. her hair was darker, shorter and her bangs were grown out. the ends curled up as they sat on her shoulders. shoulders that were slouched over with guilt and fear and regret. her stirring had slowed and murray could see that she was a million miles away. for the first time in a long time, joyce looked fragile to murray. as if one touch could shatter her right there. she was never like this with him. the last time she was was when she was running around with karen. when she had a secret love life-

‘joyce-’ his voice failed him. he tried again, ‘joyce, are you fooling around with jim?’ joyce stopped moving. the spoon fell into the pot as she lost her grip on the handle. joyce doesn’t turn around. her teeth were sinking into the skin of the inside of her lip and blood was pooling in her mouth. she grimaced at the taste. the silence that sat over them is worse this time. it was suffocating and murray had to put out his cigarette to be able to breathe again. ‘i’m so sorry, murray.’ her apology was a confession. murray’s heart sank into his stomach.

he stared at his hands clasped in front of him on the table. his tongue felt heavy like he couldn’t move it. especially not to talk to joyce, to talk to her about this. ‘you don’t have to be sorry, joyce, it’s alright.’ murray tried to sound unbothered. he tried to sound like this wasn’t a heavy confession that shattered them both, only in different ways. murray pressed his lips together. he knew that his words were sharp and every syllable cut into joyce’s heart a little deeper. ‘it just.. happened, murray. it wasn’t planned. karen was married and diane- well, you know what happened with diane, and you.. weren’t answering my calls-’ murray flinched. that wasn’t his fault and she knew it. she knew it but joyce kept talking anyways. ‘i was so alone. god, i was so alone and hopper was too. so we just- we fell into it, i guess.’ murray scoffed and fumbled with joyce’s cigarettes to take another one out. he didn’t care that it was her last pack. he needed another and he was going to take it.

joyce pulled the soaked spoon out of the pan and wiped it off. sauce pooled in the napkin and her hands became stained with red as she gripped the handle again but she kept stirring. she kept going through the motions as murray lit another cigarette. ‘fell into it, huh? fell into love? fell into bed? both?’ he lost all care of sounding indifferent. murray was hurt, his best friend had taken the knife and dug it into his back herself. the damage was done. there were no stitches she could use to repair the wound. no words to soothe the ache that had settled in his chest. ‘we’re just friends, murray. this isn’t- there is no label’ murray interrupted her, ‘you forget dear jim and i had no label, either.’ she sighed and her shoulder shook with her deep breath back in. ‘i’m not in love with him and he- i can’t speak for him but he isn’t-’ another secret sits heavy on her tongue. she paused and murray picked up where she failed. he always did. the two were known for moving in sync. joyce and murray. bauman and horowitz. but now as they sat in this suffocating silence, they were no longer that unit. they were opposites, two halves ripped apart with jagged edges that don’t match anymore.

murray finished her sentence, ‘he isn’t karen. yeah, i know that. but he isn’t some toy for you to string along, joyce.’ joyce finally turned around. her eyes were red and her bottom lip was chewed raw. ‘you care about him. there is no in between, especially for you.’ her face is flushed now. with embarrassment, with anger, murray can’t tell. he realized he can’t afford to look at her long enough to figure out what she’s really thinking. because he doesn’t know her like that. not anymore. 

she pressed her head into her hands. the sauce leftover from the spoon clung to her hair and stained under her eyes with flecks of red. murray wanted to laugh but the joy died in his throat before he could let it out. ‘if you would’ve just told me- god, if you had just said ‘hey, murray, i’m fucking jim hopper’, i would’ve taken it fine, better than this,’ murray paused. he watched joyce as she lowered her hands from her face and met his gaze for the first time. ‘i don’t know what to say, murray. i fucked up. i just- fucked up’ her voice quivered as she spoke as if she were two seconds from losing it. all he could read on her face was guilt. 

‘you don’t need to hide things from me. i don’t need to be coddled, joyce. this isn’t high school anymore. i don’t need you like i used to. and now, i don’t think i need you at all.’ joyce let out a whimper. murray tried to act like the sound didn’t cut into him. ‘this whole thing… i’ve been overthinking it for weeks. i feel like karen’s husband… or your boys when you used to bring lonnie home. i feel crazy.’ he knew that one was a low blow. the word ‘crazy’ made joyce flinch. she swallowed the vomit rising in the back of her throat. and her face fell at the mention of her affair with both her high school girlfriend and her ex husband. the flush in her cheeks was now anger, murray was certain of it. but her voice was gentle when she said, ‘that wasn’t my intention- i didn’t mean to do that to you.’

murray stood. he reached for his coat on the back of the chair. ‘it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t your intention. you still did it and you didn’t even look at me long enough to see something was wrong. old joyce would’ve. she would’ve noticed. i don’t know who this joyce is.’ joyce finally let the tears start to fall. murray didn’t notice, his back was to her as he shrugged on his coat. ‘i should go, joyce. sorry for making you put in all this effort.’

joyce stood against the counter until she heard the door click shut. he didn’t slam it, murray knew lonnie used to. murray was always gentle with her even when he was mad. and she had fucked it all up for jim hopper. she let out a shuddering gasp as if she hadn’t been breathing the whole time. it certainly didn’t feel like it. the vomit was rising again.

she turned to face the sink and threw up.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you, kim, for getting me so good with an angst plot that i actually wrote j*pper.
> 
> let me know what you think <3


End file.
